Menacing Trash Can Savagely Attacks Woman!

It was a cool December evening when Patrick Moran, son of Congressman Jim Moran, was out with his girlfriend enjoying the District of Columbia nightlife.  (This is the same Patrick Moran who was fired from his father’s campaign staff after being caught on tape dispensing advice on how to forge documents in order to commit voter fraud.)  Not long after midnight, Patrick’s girlfriend was savagely attacked by one of the District’s local trash cans. The attack, witnessed by DC police, left Moran’s girlfriend with a fractured skull and a broken nose.

This is the account it seems the Congressman’s press secretary, Anne Hughes, would have you believe. The Washington City Paper reports that Moran’s girlfriend stated one the heels on her shoes broke, causing her to fall into the trash can and cause her injuries. Hughes sent an email statement to the Washington City Paper stating, “The situation was an accident” and that “Patrick didn’t hit or shove her.”

But the best statement had to be when Hughes went on to say “They were the only two people who witnessed the scene…in that sense, their statements are the only ones that matter.”  Now that is an interesting statement. Especially given the report filed by police, which states a DC Police Sergeant and a District Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration Investigator “observed a white male, later found to be known as…Moran, grab a white female by the back of her head with his hand and slam her head into the metal trash can cage in front of [a] nightclub.”

We’re astounded at the efficiency of the DC justice system in this case. A mere 12 days after his arrest, Moran was given his day in court.  Even with his girlfriend releasing a statement blaming the entire affair on a faulty shoe, Moran decided to a plea bargain to avoid prosecution for felony assault to plead guilty to simple assault with a penalty of probation. If only such a fast track were available to all persons awaiting trial and justice in the DC courts system! We’re naturally skeptical that having a Congressman for a daddy wasn’t a motivating factor in achieving such a swift resolution.

We’re even more skeptical of the “shoe excuse” parroted by the Congressman’s press secretary. It seems too conveniently similar to other nonsense excuses offered by abusers to cover up domestic violence such as “falling down the stairs,” “hit by a screen door,” and “falling in the shower.”

But if Moran wasn’t the cause of his girlfriend’s injuries, maybe the DC police need to ask some pointed questions of the trash can. We looked into this particular trash can’s past and found a history of shady dealings and run-ins with the law, ranging from assault, larceny, and even voter fraud. These facts cannot be ignored and require prompt action to remove this menace from the streets of the District.

DC Menace Pictured with Adoring Fan


With stolen property


After arrest, with hand ties

Caught Engaging in Voter Fraud

In seriousness, domestic violence and domestic abuse aren’t funny. We use the hyperbole above to illustrate how unacceptable it is for a US Congressman to use (or allow) his influence to engage in a miscarriage of justice. We also find it to be a curious lack of consistency for women’s rights groups to choose to remain silent on this issue.

Freedom in a free society requires that our representatives be stewards of a public trust. They and their families are not above the laws that they pass down to “the small folk,” and while they are only human and not infallible, they ought to be subject to the same penalties for engaging in bad behavior as everybody else in the Republic.

Photo Credits: Daquella manera

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